Happiness....

They say happiness is relative..oh well it is..for me it has made its way into my life at the most unexpected of times and turns...there was a time when a walk through flooded streets holding my shoes in my hand oblivious to the dirt and pouring rain was an exhilaration beyond my normal senses.A quaint lunch and a cola float and giggling away through a M night shyamalan movie was pure bliss. Then came a time when a fruit juice during sunny afternoons from the shop around the corner amidst the bustle of city life dampened all noise and chaos.Meeting up with a friend and spending hours on deciding between a la kiev or mexicana was more complicated than the trade off between debt financing or equity.I have found excitement in day long sweaty tired rehearsals on sandeep's terrace or in waiting in the wings for a corporate speaker to finish his rather long yet meaningful speech(back then it seemed meaningful..but no longer though) so that i could step on stage and thank him for his time and enjoy my two minutes of fame.
Years go by..geographical transitions extended beyond national boundaries and happiness is all about finding the cosiest apartment..walking down unknown streets and realizing that nobody within 5000 miles knows you here yet you feet so free so independent..the isolation seems perfect for the moment.We are all on a quest to make ourselves happy..no matter how selfish that sounds it's somehow so true..we make friends so that they fill up our vacant slot for emotions that extend beyond family...We drink an extra glass of wine so that the light headedness makes us forget the inhibitions that we might have about laughing insanely on crowded streets.One moment we are alone..the next finds us finding peace happiness and a sense of belonging amidst total strangers who seem to be the faces you were looking for in this unknown city.You rediscover quaint little places here..the same dilemmas bother you..is it china town or is it curry mile.The rains bother you but only for sometime till you start romanticizing it again amidst the backdrop of monumental university buildings and through the large glass panes of library windows. We leave memories,family,comfort zones,our identities to form new ones..I started writing my blog way back in 2006 when i was in another transition phase of my life and I pick up one quote from my first blog because i find my thoughts as scattered yet as reflective as they were back then.It's time to cherish old ties yet make new ones..probably some that would last till the next phase of my life and probably some that would last a lifetime..I am on my way to happiness yet again..and I know this quest can never end..yet my happiness lies in this realization of never feeling totally happy...