..and Hansel said to Gretel" let us drop these breadcrumbs so that together we find our way home because losing our way would be the most cruel of things". This year I lost my way...and losing your way on the journey is unfortunate but losing the reason for the journey is a fate more cruel.
The journey lasted eight months.Sometimes i traveled alone..sometimes there were others who took the wheel and took my heart.When the destination was reached it wasn't me who arrived..it wasn't me at all.And once you lose yourself you have two choices..find the person you used to be or lose that person completely..because sometimes you have to step outside of the person u have been and remember the person you were meant to be...the person you wanted to be..the person you are.

She sat on the porch trying to think of the year gone by..the dilemmas,the decisions,the triumphs.the disappointments but overall the year that changed how she looked at her own life. Her roomie in the rehab had once told her that human life was chaos.So if human life was chaos then there must be something out there to organize it somehow..but what was it? Her best friend moved town..her boyfriend thought it was best to take some time off..she totally bummed out at the class elections(she had been winning it for the last four years)..her parents were the nazis..the only thing keeping her alive was her music.She had met him at a party..on some random school night when she had managed to sneak out yet again! He seemed to be totally at ease with himself..standing in a corner..there was a curious coordination between the puffs and the sips though his eyes seemed to have wandered off somewhere else..it's tough to remember the exact course of events that followed suit but she remembers one thing..that night was the night of illusion..of hallucinations.The stranger remained a stranger..she never saw him again but he had brought with him the ticket to a world she had vague premonitions about.Night after night she found her resources..the travis CD cover became the base..the queen of hearts found her way from the deck to being the separator..and the white pale powdery substance became her elixir! she found her life sort of organized..her thoughts clearer..people were easy to understand..but when she looked into the mirror it was not her but the image of someone she tried hard to reconstruct out of her memories.Then came another morning..the sun shone bright..the neighbour's car made the awful whirring sound..the toaster popped right at 7.30 (her mom was the prime meridian)..she opened her eyes and the world seemed hazy..no she could see very well without her specs..she had reading glasses for crying out loud..but then what sort of astigmatism gripped her today??

*(This is just a beginning to some wayward thoughts that would be posted every week!..facing a writer's block at this hour..so signing off..any ideas to continue the story would be welcome gnite!)