Mamma Mia!

Ok I have been totally hooked onto Abba for the last two days.Well our relationship is not limited to the first two dates..it dates back to the days when i was a precocious little girl of 6 and heard them for the first time on those big black circular records that my dad used to keep as his choicest possessions.There were others in that precious collection of his..The ventures,Cliff Richard..our dear Mr. Harry Belafonte with his to die for baritone..madame Joan baez..Simon & Garfunkel and my all time favourites 'The Carpenters'.
Growing up in a typical bengali household rabindrasangeet occupies a major part of your musical knowledge..and then you grow up venture out to high school and college and pick up your 'own kind of music'.Rabindrasangeet was an integral part of my life as well since i was being trained in creative dancing from the time i was four or could just move my two little feet in a coordinated manner.And it will be highly unjustified to say that listening to 'Ore grihobashi' and 'Amar hiyar majhe' or 'amar bela je jai' still doesnt stir up the bengali soul in me just like before. But somehow my father who was regarded as quite a jazzed up lad during his heydays..the ubiquitous elvis sideburns..strumming on the guitar and twisting to Boney M..introduced me quite unknowingly to this whole new world of music.I still remember those winter afternoons when baba(he had lost those sideburns by now..and the guitar's noise was dampened by the chaos of running the family business) would put on one of those records..take me up in his arms and dance to 'honey honey' or 'Matilda' like he had never danced before.Ma could never comprehend this whole passionate routine of ours..dada unfortunately had two left feet..but he used to hang around us dancing fools(i prefer the term 'dancing queen' for myself).As i grew up these afternoons became fewer and fewer partly because the kid in me became the girl who could no longer be carried in her dad's arms and partly because the daily humdrum of school,studies,friends gave me a pretentious sense of independence.Growing up was about Boy bands with their immature vocals..sugary lyrics and aphrodisiac infused videos..high school was more about being different from the crowd.. U2,metallica,the eagles..college was about social awareness,standing for a cause..trying to find a different meaning about everything.. emerging independent rock groups,alternative rock,world music.
Records had been replaced by cds..box players by the sleeker music systems..you could store thousands of songs in one much smaller circular disc...and somehow my winter afternoons were replaced by laser lights..tequila shots and rock shows where people danced away without knowing the music.Inane words..singing out of tune was the new rage..and i somehow learned to enjoy this 'noise' and appreciate the whole out of sync situation. Then i reached 25..took a sabbatical from work..started spending some time at home..rummaged through my old collection of cds..but somehow couldn't find anything that i felt like listening to.However it was a similar idle afternoon that literally saved my soul.. was trying to set a new caller tune for my connection and I bumped across the familiar tunes of 'Gimme Gimme Gimme' by ABBA and i found the key to resurrection.Made a frantic scavenging attempt in mom's piled up old boxes where she likes putting away the 'unwanted' stuff and voila I found a way to relive my past...baba's old records..covers worn away..some bent some broken yet when u put them on the cracked melody reminded you of the days when a successful twist to a 'Jailhouse Rock' elevated you to an instant 'Supertrooper' status. Reminiscing can be a morbid affair at times and it has usually not been a very pleasant experience for me; till that fateful day(Ok I'm being melodramatic but well music is all about an overdose of emotional catharsis).Ironically ,the same technology which i was playing the blame game with, gained absolution..i used google search to download unbroken mp3 streams of ABBA,Elvis,The Beatles and turned them into a glorious record which i plan to treasure as one of my life saving secrets.
Music has songs..songs have lyrics..lyrics are primarily words..yet why is it so difficult to express the feelings you attach to music.I can tell the whole story of my life..my first love..my first heartbreak..my first tear..leaving home..coming back..loving hopelessly..being bitter like never before through songs..yet when i make an attempt at trying to feel the same emotions through my words i am a total failure.I guess in a way its for the best..music transcends all words and all i can do is dedicate (another!) song to those winter afternoons with my dad..It goes like this

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs Im singing
Thanks for all the joy theyre bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
And Ive often wondered, how did it all start?
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like a melody can?
Well, whoever it was, Im a fan

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs Im singing
Thanks for all the joy theyre bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Ive been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!
(ABBA-Final single released in Nov1983..)



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